


Latibule

by Ludusrae



Category: Original Work
Genre: Adorable, Angst?, Cliche, Cute, Cute Oliver, Dorks in Love, First Kiss, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gay Panic, Getting Together, High School, Kinda?, Lots, Love Confessions, M/M, Metaphors, Noah is a Little Shit, One Shot, Pining, Romantic Fluff, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Indulgent, Swearing, Sweet and soft, Texting, The Author Regrets Nothing, alex is bad at feelings, and validation, but like, comedy?, count downs?, cursing, gross bathrooms, he ships it do hard, i hate the dialouge, i made this as soft and as heartwarming as possible, like... you'll see what i mean, lots of kisses, love feat. gross school bathrooms, metapors, noah loves what's happening, of fucking, oliver is bad at feelings, only a little I swear, slight angst, they both need hugs, too bad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-31
Updated: 2020-05-31
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:14:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,881
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24475579
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ludusrae/pseuds/Ludusrae
Summary: Like… I didn’t look at him in a romantic way before and everything was cool and all, then he fucking… he did something small; he made the stupidest joke and touched my shoulder and I just…  kind of froze… and the only thing that went through my head was:Oh.Oh no.\\\\Or... the one where Oliver has a gay panic, hides in the bathroom, feelings are said, and revelations are made.
Relationships: Original Male Character/Original Male Character, oliver mason/alexander holmes, ollie/alex
Kudos: 10





	Latibule

**Author's Note:**

> Please... this is... I love the way this came out, don't judge me too hard, please.  
> And I still don't know how to italicize on here, someone hElP mE

I was in love with the way he said my name. 

Like… I didn’t look at him in a romantic way before and everything was cool and all, then he fucking… he did something small; he made the stupidest joke and touched my shoulder and I just… kind of froze… and the only thing that went through my head was: 

Oh. 

Oh no.

And it was so, so fucking stupid because he was just some stupid brown-haired boy with equally brown eyes, so tell me why I was more addicted to him than I could’ve ever been to any drug. I was never too good at small talk or opening up or making eye-contact but man, was I good at loving people who didn’t love me back. 

Sadly (or maybe not so much, because really, who couldn’t fall for him?), Alexander had fallen into that category. 

Honestly, I wished I could’ve put off my discovery of the feelings I had for Alex for just a little longer. Reason number one (1) being: he was really fucking cute and it was ruining my life because there wasn’t a fucking second that I didn’t spend near him that I didn’t daydream kissing him. It was really becoming a problem. 

“Are you sure I can’t punch him in the face?” 

“Yes.” 

“What if I just break his nose a little?” Alex whined. 

“No, you’ll get suspended,” Noah explained. He never looked up from his laptop. 

“Bullshit! He fucking harasses people and still gets a refrigerator-worthy report card? That is such shit!” 

“That’s what happens when you live in a small town and have connections,” I said. “His entire family has gone here, Mendoza has a weak spot for them.” 

Noah nodded, “yeah, and aren’t there like… four more in the middle school and elementary?” I shrugged and Alex just huffed and stabbed his nachos. I never understood why he would get a fork to eat finger food with. 

“Still shit,” he muttered and Noah and I snorted. Noah was on the other side of the lunch table tapping at his keyboard, I could hear the hard clicking over all the lunchroom noise. It was almost impressive. Alex sat next to me, head leaning into the palm of his hand as he shoved nachos into his mouth with a fork. Fucking heathen. He was staring at the divide between tables as if it had wronged him somehow and he looked way prettier than he should’ve given the harsh frown he had. 

The topic at the table switched quickly, Alex talking again and I could listen to his voice every day for the rest of my life and never grow tired of it.

I wasn’t listening but I guess at some point Alex had stopped talking he’d caught me looking at him and I swear those three seconds I spent looking into his eyes, I saw everything I could’ve ever dreamed of. He smiled and blinked and we didn’t say anything and I didn’t look away and it was so weird. 

“Now…” Noah whispered, and I almost didn’t hear what he said next, “kiss.” 

I choked, no joke actually choked and pulled back so far I almost fell off of the bench. Alex had to grab me by my arm to keep me up and that was almost worse than falling onto the floor. At least then I’d have had something to blame my embarrassment on. But Alex just smiled and pulled me back up, maybe even closer to him than I had been before, and I felt like I couldn’t breathe. 

So, in a panic, because I couldn’t stop thinking about Noah’s stupid comment - kiss - I swung my legs over the bench and smiled, saying, “I’m gonna go use the bathroom really quick,” because I needed a second to get myself under control. They both nodded and Noah had the decency to look at least a little guilty as I quickly crossed the cafeteria and basically booked it down the hallway toward the bathroom. 

I closed myself into a stall as soon as I walked in. I don’t think there was anyone in there, I never heard anything. My phone buzzed in my jacket pocket and as I pulled it out I realised how hot I was running. Maybe I was heaving for more than one reason? When had it gotten so hot? 

It was a text from Noah. 

[spam email]: Shit

[spam email]: Are you ok?

[spam email]: I didn’t mean to like…

[spam email]: Fuck you up or anything 

I huffed out a laugh that sounded more like a heave. 

[unnecessary movie sequel]: nah

[unnecessary movie sequel]: it’s okay, i just need a second

[spam email]: Alex is kinda freaking out?

[unnecessary movie sequel]: what????? why????

[spam email]: oH shIT

[unnecessary movie sequel]: ??????

[unnecessary movie sequel]: wHAt??

[spam email]: I can’t tell you.

[unnecessary movie sequel]: ?? wHY?

[spam email]: YES. YEs. yes. Y E S. 

The bathroom door squeaked and footsteps got closer. It all happened in less than five minutes. 

Ten steps and the guy that walked in was standing in front of the stall I was holed up in. I held my breath and waited for him to knock. I waited and was getting ready to say “someone’s in here” to get them to leave, but the knock never came and it was just seconds of awkward waiting. I heard him inhale and take one more step before knocking on the door. 

“Ollie?” 

Alex. 

Jesus-fucking-christ. 

I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know how to answer-- I didn’t even know if I wanted to answer. I mean… I could’ve always just stayed quiet and made him think he was wrong, but for some reason that made me feel all kinds of wrong. So I sighed and leaned onto the side of the stall, the side with the brick. 

“Yeah,” I whispered, and I regretted it immediately. 

“Are you okay?” 

I hated that question. I hated it so fucking much. Mostly because I didn’t know how to answer it. What was the acceptable way for me to answer? What was the right answer? Trick question, there was no right answer because no matter what lie I told him, Alex would know because… because he was Alex and he was perceptive and kind and fucking-- he knew too much. 

Nine seconds and he was knocking on the door again, that time more sure but still soft. I wanted to tell him to leave because I didn’t know what to do and I’d never been good at dealing with anything when people were so close to seeing me freak out. I’d never been good at exposing myself and it was getting dangerously close to uncharted territory. 

He said, “open the door,” and I was so tempted to just ignore him and tell him to leave. But I didn’t. No, instead I tapped the wall eight times and unlocked the stall. He stepped in and closed it behind him and suddenly we were seven inches apart and I stopped breathing for what felt like could’ve been six minutes. I was so selfish… but there was something about Alex, something about this stupid, stupid boy, that made me helpless and I didn’t know what to do about that. So I stopped, and I stared, and I waited. And he asked, again, “are you okay?” 

And I answered, “I don’t know,” because I really wasn’t paying attention, I was looking at him and I wasn’t really thinking about anything at the time and apparently that made me more honest. 

“Can you tell me why?” Five words and I fucking fell for him all over again because… he didn’t tell me to explain, no, he asked me both can I and would I and… his considerateness was something I would forever love about him. And he was the perfect example of falling in love with someone for their soul before their skin, because, yeah, he’s cute, but I didn’t really fall in love with him until I’d memorized the sound of his laugh and swam in his eyes. I’m so fucked. 

I shook my head, because… honesty, right? And he just smiled his fucking perfect smile and showed off his perfect teeth and… I was done for right then and there. I forced my eyes to the floor, the disgusting boy’s bathroom floor at East Moore Highschool, and scratched my wrist. 

Alex rubbed his arm, up and down, and I said the four words that would forever be the staple of my confidence. The first and last time I would ever let myself be impulsive because holy shit what the fuck. 

“Can I kiss you?” 

Fuck. 

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck- 

Three words

“Yes, you can.” 

HOLY FUCK. 

And with those three words, I can officially say I choked two times that day. 

I almost didn’t believe I’d heard right, because, I mean… there was no way he said yes… right? But no, he did, and I almost lost my mind because holy fucking shit. 

Fucking plot twist? He... Liked me? 

So I nodded and I smiled because, really, how could I not? I leaned forward, looking up ever-so-slightly because no matter how much I hated to admit it, Alex was the tiniest bit taller than me, and… I kissed him. 

One kiss and that was the boy I loved. A little bit messy. A little bit ruined. A beautiful disaster. And have I stressed it enough? He was perfect. I don’t really remember how long it lasted, it wasn’t anything more than a press of lips and our noses were pushed together a little uncomfortably, but it had me hazy. 

But when we pulled apart, Alex whispered, “dude,” but like, romantically. I fell in love with a fucking dork. His face was bright red and he looked so completely gone, it was kind of funny. 

“We just kissed, don’t call me ‘dude’,” I snickered and he cackled quietly if that were even possible. My hands were glued to my sides. His were too. And we just grinned wildly and I wanted to kiss him again. So I did. It’s not like I couldn’t? 

It was better the second time, he put his hands around my shoulders and tugged on my hair and I wrapped mine around to his back. He kept our mouths shut, but we both figured out we could actually move them if we dared to. We did, of course, eventually, and it was so much better. 

“Y’know,” Alex said, I moved to kiss his cheek, “this is kinda gross.” And my heart stopped. 

Did he have regrets? He seemed pretty into it? I mean… was I reading it all wrong, that had happened a couple of times before, so I wouldn’t have been surprised. 

Alex noticed my panic, though and quickly righted himself, “wait, not this,” he gestured between us, “I mean… we’re in the bathroom. This place is fucking gross.” 

“Oh,” I said dumbly. He laughed. “Yeah, it kinda is.” 

“Yeah.” 

“Does that… does that mean you want to stop?” 

He blanched and tilted his head to the side with a smirk, “of-fucking-course not.” 

“Cool,” I said. 

“Cool,” he said back. 

And it really was. It was cool as fuck.


End file.
